“When a person uses painkillers over a long period of time, his body adapts to it. He becomes dependent. It doesn’t get rid of the pain. It just makes you forget that it’s there. But the pain is still there. There are several things we can do to avoid pain. It could be anything. It doesn’t even have to be a drug. It could be alcohol, shopping, even sex. These are all painkillers”-Arki

I realized what my painkillers were. God, and Boyfriends. Not in a healthy way I fear. God, I love him, I placed too much responsibility on him. Like he’s supposed to fix everything and I don’t even have to lift a finger. So I loved him blindly. Epic Fail! Boyfriend, I don’t doubt the quality of my love but quite unhealthy also. Like his love should be enough. I don’t even need anyone else, not friends, not family, just, a boyfriend who loves me unconditionally. Another Fail! Of course, I have other ways to dull the pain. Writing, making money, being independent and proud of it, trying so hard to make something, an exceptional one, of myself, because I want to change the world. I recognise the problem now. But it’s another struggle to fix it. Nothing may ever really be enough to fill this hole dug deep into my heart.

Pain is meant to be felt. It demands to be felt. Painkillers only dull the pain. And I’ve become a drug abuser.

What are your painkillers? What have you been using to dull the edge? Talk about it.

Xoxo