It started with, why me God?

I was just a child and you let this happen.

No. It was too early to control my destiny,

How is this even my fault?

Then they answered to me

He’s a god who knows all,

However, he won’t tell you all.

Our minds cannot comprehend the future.

Then it became why, why me humans?

What have I done to you?

I pray, I read, I work,

I never do evil or stray from light.

Yet you choose to batter me every chance.

Maybe its my fault I trusted you,

But all I did was all you asked me;

Have faith in Humanity.

Soon it became just why?

Not why me, but why am?

Why am I like this.

What happened to me.

What broke me.

Was it him? Or Her?

When did it break?

Why am I not normal?

Why is it so hard?

Hard to be appropriate

Have appropriate emotions?

Have appropriate reactions?

Why do I stand out so much?

Why am I so, weird?

 Why can’t I Not be weird!

I never really got any answers,

you see.

No one knew.

Not my mother, sister, brother or father.

Not my friends in the church,

Or my cohorts at the bars.

Not my lovers in bed,

Or my many friends I love.

I could have stopped asking.

Ignorance is bliss will never be cliche.

I could have let go and be swallowed,

Whole.

Under the weight of the pain of the body,

The boots pressing on the mind.

Instead, I found ways,

The questions can’t win.

Answers I’ve asked,

Answers I’ll find.

Not the same questions

who am I kidding.

But to questions of truth,

To question of science

To logic

To knowing.

That,

Humanity isn’t the man who helped the blind

Or the one who gave all away to the poor

Not the man who tortured a cat,        

Or the one who raped his son.

Humanity is a bunch of events that happen,

A bunch of superstitious beliefs,

A bunch of organized religions,

And a bunch of chemicals that when crossed.

Nothing and No one is ever the same.

Now sometimes I get mad.

I spent all those years,

Asking the wrong questions.

If I had been asking the good why’s,

I’ll be a genius maybe?

I’ll be on fastrack for truths.

But I will start again.

I love starting again!