I used to think I was special and cool. I found, being special is not the rosy feelings that you carry in you that makes you glow or even feel better than anyone else. It’s hard being special. It’s hardwork being special.
Nobody will understand you. Everyone is mad at you for not conforming. Everyone wants you to be exactly like them, and they keep wondering why you are fighting something they, don’t understand. Daily, you have to keep fighting to remain exactly you. You stand out like a sore thumb, you don’t quite fit into many circles.
You can’t cave. You can’t become a shell. A prototype of social expectations. A blank copy of everyone else. That’s the end of you if you do. One day, you’re just, no longer special. They ask you what you stand for, and the cat gets your tongue. Sadly, there is no template for you or what you should be.
So you have to chart a path, the one where you have to learn the difference between what is toxic and bad in you and what is okay for you. The one where you have to learn what people want from you or expect you to be and what you really want to be. So being special is not SO special. It involves a lot of days of self doubt. It involves sometimes caving. It has a lot of confusion.
Do you want to stay special? If yes, then surround yourself with like minded people. People who want to do the work of inner change and reflection as much as you, because feeling alone on a journey will make you turn back and feel wrong. Surround yourself with good literature and resources, listen to the ones who have walked the path. Pay attention every single day to satisfying the four cores of your existence; Mental, Spiritual, Physical, Emotional. When one lacks, the others suffer.
I wish you only the best of luck as you trudge on, I’m here with you. Xx.