When you’re with someone you love, you feel they’re the most beautiful person in the world.
You feel you don’t deserve them, their love, their kindness, as if they’re the only ones that see you. Without their gaze you die and wither away.
So you do everything in your power to make sure their eyes never leave you. Everything you achieve is to keep their attention on yourself. Everything you do for their sake makes you stronger, wiser, better indeed. It’s like crack. You get addicted to being better, you’re your own competition.
Love is that superpower.
Some people get scared of someone having this much power over them. So they fight it. They’re right too. It’s not all that healthy that you will lack motivation for yourself, but someone else can bring out a new side of you with one simple wide smile. And what of when it ends and your whole life comes crashing down. It’s the most terrible thing in the world.
But we were made to love. We have hormones. High levels of dopamine and norepinephrine, are released during attraction. These chemicals make us giddy, energetic, and euphoric, happy. Then there’s oxytocin, the cupid hormone. So can we really fight it? Is there any point in fighting it?
Romantic relationships are not the only times you can love someone. It could be your parents, a friend, who inspires these positive feelings in you. It could be you, although living in a world beset with trauma means a lot more people don’t have the will to give themselves all of that love. So we carry it around looking for who we can give and will give us back with the same energy. It’s also okay to use someone else as a crutch. As long as they’re worth it.
As long as the positive feelings are there, as long as they’re nurtured, as long as they stay. But what do we do if we give our love to the wrong person? We stop. It’s easy and not easy. We keep it pushing. We have endless love to give, the hormones reproduce always. Just because you have poured all of you somewhere infertile doesn’t mean you have no more love to give. You just lack the will. If you lack the will to love someone else, you will also lack the will to love yourself. So how can you really live such a loveless life? To be fully in tune with your purpose, love needs to pour from every part of you. So find the will, and love again. Start new friendships, let the connections energise you while they last. Winter and Spring come and go.
What we will also not do, is take anyone’s love for granted. Whether they are good or bad, you know they love you. If you receive love without multiplying it, you’re a male/female succubus from the pit of hell and from whence you shall return. Don’t be a demon. Not like I can plead with a demon not to demonise, but some people genuinely do not realise they are being evil. Hence my plea. If the person is “bad for you”, then end it, release them to find who is good for them. Just because they love you wrongly doesn’t mean you should hold down the love, manage It and frustrate everyone. I promise, if you keep loving, love will find you. So let the wrong one be…
I hope and pray for you today that you always find the will to love and live fully. I hope you never get too tired, or stuck in a space that you give up on one of the most pleasurable emotions that keeps humanity up.